Sunday, June 14, 2009

Silva on Damnation

So, in my last episode of ThrawnOmega predicts the future, I made a remark about how badly I hate Twitter, and that it was the subject for a future rant. Silva send me a message saying he had the idea to rant on it too. So, over a party chat, I got to thinking, why don't we tag-team to rip Twitter asunder with the power of the written word? (It's something most Twitter users aren't familiar with.) It will be an event so epic, it's being split into two days. I'll be leading off with a series of kidney punches, and Silva will follow to deliver the knockout blow. This will be your rare opportunity to see a bona-fide Thrawn rant, as few things in this world irritate me as much as Twitter.

By slaughtering Twitter, we're doing our small part to make the world a better place for everyone. Stay tuned for this next week.

In the meantime, I give you Silva on Damnation:

DISCLAIMER: Ask Silva posts contain high levels of profanity and some sexual content. If such language offends you, please refrain from reading the 'Ask Silva' posts. You have been warned. For the rest of you, enjoy!


Here’s an added little freebie for this week since I’m in such a pissy little mood due in part….No fuck that due FULLY to Codemaster’s Damnation. Oh my Jesus what a horrible little turd that game is. I was way beyond upset when I pressed the on screen prompt for the RB button which in turn unlocked the first collectible….along with an achievement….

As I sat motionless staring at my screen, 1 million and 3 different scenarios ran thru my mind as to how to handle this. The first was to calmly continue playing this fucknut and see if I could find some good in it; you know, just man up and casually play the game. Fuck that, I’m furious and I refuse to be subjugated by something that was inferior to Terminator Salvation, yes I’d rather buy the limited collector’s edition of Terminator Salvation than play Damnation. TermSalv was not as much of a pain in my dick as this latest shovelware from Codemasters and I refuse to spin this horseshit any longer, I’m just going to boost it with the friend it was intended for then launch that shit back to Gamefly.

The second was to rage out and snap the fucking disc clean in half then scold Gamefly for even including such a rancid piece of anus-blow in their collection and demand a refund for my 4 game plan and give me 8 games out for the month.

The third was to take it to the source, go to the store and purchase a pre paid long distance card, hop on the tele and phone away to Codemasters’ HQ in the UK and politely inquire as to why I was cheated out of a que space.

I ended up doing none of the preconceived actions because of the laziness bestowed upon me by the great Don Miguel’s Grande Breakfast Buritto. I instead chose to go in to a Tourette-esque rage out and spew multiple obscenities so loud that the people down the street could hear me roar as I bellowed FUUUUUUCK as loud as I could; for my gamercard had just been raped and tainted once again by a dirty whore and this time her name was Damnation. This situation was similar to getting the fat, drunken chick at the bar pregnant and she’s discussing with you about where you two would like to raise the family. In this instance I’d rather bang the fat chick 3 times over than 1k Damnation, shit I’d even let the offspring we produce do bible study at Mel Gibsons house then go to Michael Jacksons residence for a sleepover before I finish this turd.

In conclusion, my rant is simply to warn you kiddies to save your rubles, pesos, pounds, yen (lol 1,000,000 yen = $5 USD, yen yen money make Silva laugh it so funny haha), marks, francs, dinars, Ozzie Bucks (I think they’re called Schillings), rupees (not from Zelda the ones from India), euros and Nade Dollars (Canadan currency), because this game will make you cry blood from your anus.

was chopped into paragraphs to make it a little easier to read --Thrawn)


  1. LOL, nice one for that I was about to add that to my queue, guess not now, my ass has bleed enough for one day(making it through Cars =P).

  2. I'm trying to finish it right now :-\ it's really not THAT bad but it's still pretty shitty

  3. You missed out the Pound Sterling at the end, don't forget us brits! lol

  4. lol quick revision for you there Thrawnius Maximus

  5. wtf, you left out cigarettes (prison currency)

  6. What the fuck man this is fucking bullshit I am so fucking upset right now this game is such ass it's not even funny any more dude like seriously the last boss is horseshit. Im at the last shot and boom i get hit with a rocket. Great no checkpoint now I have to do this cock sucking ass licking fucking final boss AGAIN for the 102989128309123 time FUCKKKKKKKKKKKK