Pants is my Hero (Kinda, Sorta, but Not Really)

The title of this post is a joke, because I believe words like Hero or Idol carry too much meaning to be truly applied to anything as trivial (in the scheme of things) as achievement scoring. Nevertheless, Pants is a legend in my books, as he’s been able to do something I’ve tried for, and completely suck at.

Way, way better then Thrawn @ RPGS...

The man is a beast on RPGs. He loves RPGs. I love RPGs. He actually completes them (the game and all the points). I get 2/3 of the way in and then go “OOOOOOH SHINY!!!” to some other game, and they sit on my card for years unfinished. I suck. I really want to finish my RPGs, but can’t seem to ever do it. Let’s take a look at how much better than me Pants is, shall we? Get ready to witness an encyclopedia of my Epic Fails… (I’m ignoring Star Ocean… it’s too new to count)

THE LAST REMNANT

Pants: 1000/1000
Thrawn: 0

I haven’t played this one yet, so I haven’t had the opportunity to suck at it yet. Naturally, Pants has creamed it.

LOST ODYSSEY

Pants: 1100/1100
Thrawn: 485/1100

I’m still sitting at the start of disc 4. I probably have been since August 08… Pants went back and replayed the WHOLE GAME to get the Treasure Trove achievement, if I remember correctly. I tip my hat to you sir. I don’t think I can do that.

TWO WORLDS

Pants: 1000
Thrawn: 5

I played this POS for 5 min and sent it back to Gamefly. I fail. I’ll have to rerent and endure it sometime, cause that game is stuck on my card, and the worst Operation Jedi offender.

TALES OF VESPERIA

Pants: 1000
Thrawn: 0

Also have not played yet, due to wanting to actually finish what I’ve started before throwing more JRPGS on my card.

MASS EFFECT:

Pants: 1050
Thrawn: 1050

I’m going to savor this… the rare moment we’re equals in any RPG…

OBLIVION:

Pants: 1250
Thrawn: 1250

Sure, we’re equals in score, but I doubt Pants went 2 years from starting it finishing off the 1250…

MARVEL ULTIMATE ALLIANCE

Pants: 1,250
Thrawn: 935

I inched closer to completion a few months back, but just could not seal the deal. I’ll have to try again in the future.

ETERNAL SONATA

Pants: 1000
Thrawn: 340

I have a perfect first playthrough…. That counts for something, right?

BLUE DRAGON

Pants: 1000
Thrawn: 155

After sitting idle for over a year, I went back and play it some before the GSL. I’m almost to disc 3 LOL!

PHANTASY STAR UNIVERSE

Pants: 1000
Thrawn: 1000

It’s impossible to not have the 1000 after finishing the story. Not hard, but kinda boring after a while.

ENCHANTED ARMS

Pants: 1000
Thrawn: 1000

Another tie in a game that’s hard to miss the points in…

FALLOUT 3

Pants: 1100
Thrawn: 1100

Pants played the PC edition, I played the Xbox 360 edition. While I’m positive Pants actually played the game for his 1100 on the PC, he could have used codes to do it in minutes… I had to play everything. I know I’m stretching, and this is really a tie, but can I call it a win anyway? LOL otherwise I’m FAIL across the board.

Arkadian Warriors:

Pants: 0
Thrawn: 200/200

An RPG Pants hasn’t played??? Well, it isn’t much of one, but it is an easy 200.

PUZZLE QUEST: CHALLENGE OF THE WARLORDS:

Pants: 0

Thrawn: 250

This is my one, true win. Puzzle Quest is a great puzzle-RPG fusion, and one of the finest games on XBLA. I've spent more than 50 hours in this gem of a game on the road to all 250 points.

THE FINAL SCORE:

Pants: 12,750
Thrawn: 7,770

Pants wins by 5,230 in score. Let’s look at game wins:

Pants: 7
Thrawn: 2 (Arkadian Warriors, Puzzle Quest)
Ties: 5

I bow before the true RPG master. Someday I will match your completion skills! (Probably not…)