Friday, January 23, 2009

Today's Post Has Been Hijacked

I wanted to write this big long post about what for me would be the PERFECT xbox 360 game, but seeing as how it's already 10:30pm, and I still have a ton of packing to do for my return to Eau Claire tomorrow, I simply don't have the time.

The backup plan was to write about my achievement progress, but all I did was continue Blue Dragon and make some progress on 40 Uno wins, so there isn't much of a story to tell.

With plans A and B out the window, it's on to plan C... hijack the post with a few things that should make you LOL (3, to be exact). Once I move back to Eau Claire and get settled in, a normal pattern of events shall return to this blog.

Your first amusement comes courtesy of an email I received from my dad. I have no idea who wrote this, but it's hilarious.

Husband Store

A store that sells new husbands has opened in New York City , where a
woman may go to choose a husband. Among the instructions at the entrance
is a description of how the store operates:

You may visit this store ONLY ONCE! There are six floors and the value
of the products increase as the shopper ascends the flights. The
shopper may choose any item from a particular floor, or may choose to
go up to the next floor, but you cannot go back down except to exit the

So, a woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband. On the first
floor the sign on the door reads:

Floor 1 - These men Have Jobs

She is intrigued, but continues to the second floor, where the sign

Floor 2 - These men Have Jobs and Love Kids.

'That's nice,' she thinks, 'but I want more.'

So she continues upward.. The third floor sign reads:

Floor 3 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, and are Extremely Good

'Wow,' she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going.

She goes to the fourth floor and the sign reads:

Floor 4 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Good Looking
and Help With Housework.

'Oh, mercy me!' she exclaims, 'I can hardly stand it!'

Still, she goes to the fifth floor and the sign reads:

Floor 5 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Gorgeous, Help
with Housework, and Have a Strong Romantic Streak.

She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the sixth floor, where the
sign reads:

Floor 6 - You are visitor 31,456,012 to this floor. There are no men on
this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible
to please. Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store.


To avoid gender bias charges, the store's owner opened a New Wives
store just across the street.

The first floor has wives that love sex.

The second floor has wives that love sex and have money and like

The third, fourth, fifth and sixth floors have never been visited.

Your 2nd lol comes from my brother. I hope he does not mind me sharing this story, since it's one of my favorite study abroad stories ever. He writes:

"I was buying a Therion, Kamelot, and a Slayer cd from El Corte Ingles, and the guy checking me out whispers to the other cashier that I'm "a little satanic." So I called him out on it, and was rewarded with the kodak memory of a mid-thirties man squirming in some of the most intense discomfort I have ever born witness to. He probably didn't think I knew spanish, and he was probably even more caught off-gaurd that I ballsed up and said something."

I love that story. Thanks for unknowingly helping me fill a post, bro. You're awesome like that =) Keep having a blast over there, and letting me know what you're up to.

And lastly, since I played the saxophone for 8 years...

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